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Smothering the Flames: Commentary

October 8, 2010 Leave a comment

This assignment was to read Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” and then write a similar dialog driven scene.  We were to have between 500 and 1,500 words.  We had 72 hours to write this, but I have family coming in for the weekend and a half-marathon on Sunday.  This morning was when I could get this done. Of course, this means I haven’t spent near as much time on this as I would have liked, and I reserve the right to sneak in edits.

I tried to obfuscate the topic and depict realistic dialog. My word count is 950, so I’m somewhere between the 500 word scene and the 1,500 word short story. I thought about adding more, but it didn’t feel right. Maybe I escalated things too quickly.

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Chasing the Dream

October 1, 2010 2 comments

Stu eased the truck into second gear as he pulled out of the hotel parking lot.  The F-150’s engine shuddered, and then complied.  The baby blue and rust pickup had travelled two hundred thousand miles in its thirty two years.  They may be the same age, but Stu hoped he was in better shape.

Stu’s eyes flicked to the Motel 6 sign in the rearview mirror.  He’d stayed in the room last night and appreciated a warm shower and a night away from the kids.

His left hand cranked down the window and let in the morning breeze.  His John Deer ball cap kept his ear length brown hair out of his eyes.  The humidity had finally died down some, and east Texas finally started inching toward autumn.  The sun licked the horizon behind him and revealed a clear blue sky.  Not a bad day for a fair.

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Chasing the Dream: Commentary

October 1, 2010 Leave a comment

My assignment was to write up a character sketch with a focus on the character’s job (his actual occupation) and his vocation (that which he actually does or wants to do).  We were to then write a story or character background that explored the tension or synergy between our character’s job and vocation.

This has a plot in that it follows a day, so it has a beginning, middle, and end. But it doesn’t have a strong climax or anything. I just tried to show Stu’s job and his two, competing, vocations.

I’m not super happy with the title.  It is fitting, but it seems a bit bland.

I might skim over too much or too little of his day. I cut out a bunch of things I put in there, because it seemed to drag, but I’m not sure if I’d like more detail or if I should have cut even more.

Oh, I know Stu is an odd nickname for Steven, but Stu insists that’s what people call him.

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Categories: Fiction Tags: ,